How Nigerian Bachelors Have Coping During Ramadan

Islam means total submission to the dictates of the Creator, Allah. One thing that characterises a Muslim, therefore, is that his life is a reflection of the will of his Lord.


“It is not fitting for the believer, male or female, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His messenger to have any option about their decision. If anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is, indeed, on a wrong path.” (Q 33:36). One of such commandments of Allah to all Muslims is fasting in the ninth month of lunar calendar, Ramadan. “O ye who believe! fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you that you may become pious” (Q 2:183).


To facilitate the task, Allah explains the methodology of the fasting process to guide Muslims to an acceptable form of worship. One of the injunctions of Ramadan fasting is the taking of the dawn meal (Sahur) and the meal to break the fast (Iftar). Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, “Take the dawn meal because there is blessing in it.” He also said, “Leave the dawn meal late (towards the last part of the night) and break your fast early (immediately the sun sets).” Thus, the Muslim makes enough preparation to facilitate his Sahur and Iftar.


Although, the task seems relatively easy for the married couple, who can complement each other’s efforts in the process, it is not the same for bachelors and spinsters. And, due to a cultural orientation which trains and cedes most of the kitchen tasks to the female, the bachelors become more challenged in this respect. Many have resorted to fast food while some others have simply struggled to cope.

Some married Muslims, who work and live far away from their spouses, especially in the northern part of the country, have permanently fixed their annual leave for the month of Ramadan because the fasting would only be accepted by Allah if the foods for Sahur and Iftar  are prepared by one’s legitimate wife. What a myth! To some others who are not lucky to have been officially engaged, any woman is qualified to function as a wife even if the nuptial knot has not been tied. Thus, they make their girlfriends to prepare and send down the Sahur and Iftar. To such people, the girl can even spend the 29 or 30 nights of Ramadan with the boyfriend to facilitate timely preparation of the food. What another myth!


A cleric told Saturday Tribune that “For the first class of people, the ‘married bachelors’ so to say, they should know that Allah has not decreed anything for Muslims except to make easy for them. Concerning Ramadan fasting, Allah said: “He (Allah) desires easiness for you and He does not want hardship for you”-(Q 2:185). Meals for fasting can be prepared and taken by the man himself, and there is no better reward attached to fasting when meals are prepared by the wife.

While for the real bachelors or spinsters, they should be informed that Islam recognises only a marital relationship that is legally backed up. The female becomes a wife of a man and can perform all real and supposed functions of a wife only after four conditions are met: that the man proposes to the woman and she accepts the offer, that the girl’s father (or his representative) accepts to release her in marriage to the man who has proposed, that the man pays the bride price (Mahr) and that the union is formalised in the presence of at least two upright people. If any of the four conditions has not been met, the woman cannot act in the capacity of a wife, cannot engage in sexual relation with the man, cannot prepare or serve the Sahur and Iftar, cannot stay alone with the man in a secluded place (e.g. private room) and definitely cannot sleep in the man’s house.


What are, then, the way forward for the ‘married’ and real bachelors and spinsters? Islam enjoins them to abide by Allah’s instruction and not get their efforts vitiated by acts disapproved by the Creator.  They should gear up in their plans, maximise their time, and be ready to take up the responsibility of cooking their food for beginning or breaking the fast. They can also look at alternatives in as much as they fall within the accepted practices of Islam, such as resorting to fast food, etc. A great challenge for the people in this category, but definitely not an insurmountable test.
Fasting in the holy month of Ramadan, according to the Holy Qur’an, is mandatory upon Muslim faithful, male and female, irrespective of whether they are married or not.


A Bauchi-based cleric, Ustaz Mohammed Jafar, told Saturday Tribune that under Islamic jurisprudence, the faithful had to be matured, particularly must have reached the age of puberty and also be sane.

He further stated that Islam did not permit an unmarried man to eat food prepared by his fiancée or even girlfriend to fast, declaring that only legally married couples had the right to prepare meal to be taken for either Sahur (pre-dawn meal) or Iftar (breaking of fast) for each other. This, according to him, is meant to preserve the sanctity of the marriage institution as well to prevent any immoral act in the society.
 Saturday Tribune gathered from some unmarried people that they found it difficult to cook what they would eat at dawn and at the time of breaking their fast. Some of them, however, stated that since it was compulsory for them to obey Allah by fasting during the 29 or 30-day Ramadan period, they had no other option than find a way out.

A commercial motorcyclist, who identified himself as Faruq Abubakar, told Saturday Tribune that since he was yet to marry, he resorted to buying food from food vendors, adding that since the commencement of this year’s fast, he was only taking tea and bread as his pre-dawn meal, while for his Iftar he used to visit different canteens depending on where he was before it was time to break the fast.

“When I was at our village at Faggo in Shira Local Government Area, my elder brother’s wives took turn to prepare meals for me as they did for their husband. Then it was the responsibility of my brother to feed me. When his wives cook for the family, they gave me my own share,” Abubakar stated.

“I must confess that I was in paradise back home at the village as far as fasting during Ramadan is concerned because all I used to do then was to wake up, eat, observe the fast and break it at the appropriate time. But now that I am in Bauchi here, it is a different experience entirely. Since I am not married, I have been taking bread and tea for Sahur since we began this year’s fast. For my Iftar, I eat anywhere I find myself when it is the time to break the fasting. All I have to do is to find a nearby canteen to eat.”

For a staff member of the Bauchi State Fire Service, who pleaded not to be named, fasting during Ramadan has never posed any problem to him, saying that he enjoys cooking meals anytime he wanted to do so. He, however, acknowledged the fact that things could not continue like this as he was planning to settle down and marry his girlfriend, who he said he was waiting for to finish her education this year.

“Arrangements are ongoing for our wedding later this year. By that time my fiancée would have finished her studies at the School of Nursing. I enjoy cook and this she acknowledges that I am a good cook. So, this makes fasting easy for me. All I have to do is to wake up and do my cooking for Sahur. The only snag here for me is that shuttling between the kitchen and my room does not give me much time to concentrate on my Tahajjud prayer.
“As soon as I close from work, I ensure that I go home early so as to start preparing what I am going to eat at Iftar. I use to go out to eat at a canteen near our office whenever I work late,” the fire service man said.

A student of The Federal Polytechnic, who simply identified himself as Hamza, told Saturday Tribune he normally cook his meals himself but was quick to add that it had not been easy though, saying it was now that he was in school that he realised that his mother and sisters back home who used to cook for the family were really doing a great job.
Hamza narrated what he described as “a funny experience” while trying to cook for Iftar last weekend, saying that it was an experience and that some people had been making jest of him any time he narrated it and that he would not forget easily.

“Last weekend, I wanted to eat beans and spaghetti. I used to eat it at home but I have never prepared this myself before. Instead for me to put the beans on fire first, I put the spaghetti first and later added the beans. I waited endlessly for the beans to get done but as it was time to break my fast, I was forced to eat only the spaghetti as the beans was not yet done. It was really funny.

“When I told a classmate of mine later in the night, it was he who told me that I should first cook the beans for sometimes before adding spaghetti,” Hamza narrated his experience to Saturday Tribune.
Speaking on the issue, Farouk  Adeyanju said he had been coping with  eating in the early morning but breaking the fast is usually not easy. “I don’t always eat much in the morning because I find it difficult to eat but usually I take beverages after observing my prayers around 4am and most  time I take water. But the only problem I’m having is breaking the fast. I usually visit eateries to buy food.  Muslims are not too many here and most canteens would have close before 7pm, so I’m left with no option than to eat outside.”

Saheed  Kilani, a banker, prepares his Sahur in the night by keeping it in the warmer till morning. He said: “I’m an early eater, maybe because of the nature of my job and I usually eat during Sahur and I usually break with fruits and water. I tend to drink a lot, and then my normal food follows. I cook by myself and I’m used to it. The only problem I’m facing is to retire from office only to start cooking again.”
Dhikurulai Adegbite said Ramadan goes beyond eating in the early morning and breaking in the evening. According to him, Ramadan is a test to demonstrate the submission to the will of God. Ramadan, according to him, is a way to keep the mind and body focused on good deeds and the attainment of self discipline. He said he attached little importance to food but eat anything that will sustain him during Itfar, but said  for sahur, most times it’s bread and juice and water. “I dislike tea and for evening, it’s anything, especially fruits. The only thing I’m missing from home is the hot pap and since I don’t know how to prepare it, I take water or soft drinks,’ he said.

Also speaking, Wahab Akinfolayan, said getting food is not the problem and that he eat as much he can, saying he prepares the food by himself. “During Sahur, I love eating solid food, like Eba, Semovita, Amala or even pounded yam. I love cooking and I cook by myself and it is same in the evening. I love taking fruits and will cook after getting home. I have no problem as regards eating during Ramadan at all,” he said.

He said he prefer to cook at home because of the cost of eating outside noting that weekend in Akure is like hell in getting good food noting that most canteen and eateries are usually closed on Sunday and relying on canteen will be suicidal.

Wadata community in Makurdi, capital of Benue State, stands out as the hub of social and religious activities. Notwithstanding that Benue is a predominantly Christian state. However, Wadata community is dominated by Muslim faithful of the dominant  Hausa/Fulani and a few non indigenes like  Yorubas, Igalas and other tribes who by religious belief share the same faith.
Saturday Tribune which visited the community on Monday evening during the breaking of fast spoke to some bachelors on how they cope with the Ramadan considering the usual rites of waking up early to observe Sahur and later Iftar.

 24-year-old Prince Abass Ali, an artisan, said he was aware that the religion forbids unmarried man to eat a girlfriend’s food, stating, “I am used to the rules because I was born and bred a Muslim and I know that the religion forbids bachelor not to eat food from a girl friend, so what I do is to wake up as early as 3.30am and prepare pap or at times take some loafs of bread with tea to observe Sahur.”
Ali added that breaking of fast is easier than Sahur because he can easily eat fruits to break the fast, adding that after the fruits, he would then pray and prepare for solid food, which he takes between 9:00 and 10:00 pm before going to bed.

Ahmed Shaban, a business man has this to say: “If you know this community very well, you will know that there is never a dull moment  throughout the Ramadan period. Because if you come here by 3:00 am, you will see all the (Me chai) (those trading in tea and bread) which I always rely on for Sahur. Aside  the Me chai, you also find the little girls hawking assorted foods like rice and (Tuwo), alubo, etc which you can easily take for you Sahur.

“So, when I’m breaking the fast, I do the same thing, I mean eating outside because I don’t know how to cook and the religion forbids bachelor eating food prepared by one’s girlfriend”.
When asked whether he has a girl friend, Shaban said that he has a fiancé but “since we are yet to be legally married, she cannot prepare my  meals, the only thing I do is to call her at times and exchange pleasantries devoid of any love message, because this is holy month”.

Saheed in his own case stated that the month of Ramadan is a month that one needs to be closer to God as a true Muslim. He said he was used to cooking from his early age.l
A junior civil servant in one of the federal parastatals in the state disclosed that he relies more on beverages and light food for Sahur, while solid food is his favourite to break the fast in the evening.
According to him, “I can cook very well, but I prefer light food in the wee hours of the day because I cannot stand cooking early in the morning, so when I wake up around 3:00am, I take some loafs of bread and tea and atimes Akamu (pap) but when breaking   the fast, I settle for solid food which I relish a lot.”

Saheed, a 22-year- old bachelor said that his quest to acquire higher education has prevented him from getting married saying, “things are changing and I don’t want my children to go through what I went through in life. I desire a better life for my unborn children that is why I’m taking my time. Besides, I am still a young man.

“In Hausa land, there is a kind of mini drama on the streets by groups of children and middle aged, specifically in the month of Ramadan to show how bachelors face difficulties in getting good meals for Sahur and breaking their fast in the evening.

“In such plays, called “Tashe” in Hausa, there is a song they use to sing in which they’ll say, “Mai Sahur da Karago bude baki da Kanya Gwawro” meaning, a bachelor is left with no option than to eat groundnut cake (kulikuli) for Sahur and take unworthy fruits “Kanya” for Ramadan breakfast.”
 Musa Tsaid, a bachelor and a junior civil servant admitted that they are facing difficulties in getting what they need at a time, because they don’t have wives to cook for them.


“Whatever I want eat I can buy it, in fact, I am eating better foods then most married men. This song they sing and the whole of the drama (Tashen Gwawro) are mischiefs aimed at provoking us to hastily look for a partner,” he said.
Speaking to Saturday Tribune, one Salmanu Mahadi, who is a divorcee said, “Yes, I’m a bachelor because I divorced my wife a few months ago. I’m enjoying my status, even at this fasting period. My brother who has a restaurant will not allow me to suffer. You can get whatever you need so far you have money. So many family men eat outside; while some buy the food from restaurants to eat with their wives and even children. In short, I’m eating from food canteens and reserve that of the early morning (Sahur) in my flask”.
Also, a middle aged person, who gave his name as Alabera Mangu said he is married but his wife is in Taraba State, while he is in Dutse and that the challenge is too much as he is finding it difficult, especially during Sahur. He said:”There is no problem when breaking, because so many family members, including neighbours bring lots of foods and I usually eat to my satisfaction.”

Afeez Odunoye, an undergraduate said preparing Sahur has not been easy for him, since he is far away from home.
He said, “At times, I prepare the food that I will eat for Sahur late at night, before I go to bed. On any other days, I buy bread and tea. I hardly wake up to prepare Sahur, but if I had been married, the story would not have been the same.
“If I want to break my fast, Iftar, I prepare my meal if chanced and if there is no time to do so, I buy bread or go to my aunt’s house to eat.”
The story of Odunoye is not different from that of Sanusi Lateef, a journalist, who also said it has not been easy for him to prepare Sahur in the past five years, especially when you are engaged in a job that is demanding like journalism.
“I am overripe for marriage but still single. Since, Ramadan started have not boiled water neither have I cooked any food. I have been buying food from vendors. I also have a neighbour who has been helping me with Sahur and Iftar anytime they prepare food for breakfast or Sahur, they’ll prepare mine alongside,” Lateef said.

The final word
According to Professor Afis Oladosu of the Department of Arabic and Islamic Studies, University of Ibadan, “three issues are relevant here. First is the position of bachelorhood in Islam and  second, keeping girlfriends and three having the latter prepare meals for her boyfriend during
Ramadan. One, there is no law that says a Muslim should go into wedlock particularly when he does not have the means. In fact, one of the conditions governing marriage in Islam is financial capability. It is in recognition of this condition that Islam advises that bachelors should guide their loins and practice self-abnegation through fasting as much as possible. Now, it is axiomatic from the above that keeping girlfriends is not an option or alternative as far as Islamic law is concerned. It is expressly abhorred by our Creator. A reading of Quran 5 verse 5 compels that conclusion. In the verse, the Almighty says as follows: “Made lawful to you this day are al-tayyibaat (all kinds of halaal (lawful) foods…). The food of the People of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them.

 (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allah such a person shall be among the losers in the Hereafter.
“It is interesting to note that the phrase in the above, which renders keeping girlfriends a nugatory is ‘muttakhidhi akhdaan’. This could equally refer to lovers or even suitors and such other usages which call attention to, in the modern times, the existence of wedlock which is not legal.

Now if keeping girlfriends is abhorred by Islamic law, having the girl prepare your meal during Ramadan becomes a double infraction. If eating pork is unlawful how could using it to break one’s fast become lawful?,” Oladosu posited.

Tribune